Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

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Tuesday, August 11th, 2009

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Book Jacket

Friday, May 8th, 2009

I joined a writing group to help me stay focused as I attempt to write a book. It’s a small club: five people who are all writing books of one sort of another, and we get together once per week. We don’t actually discuss the content of our writing, but rather we focus on the process of writing: How do you get started on a particular chapter? What variables, whether psychological or practical, get in the way of your writing? What objectives for writing should you set for this week to help you complete your larger goal? Everyone is very supportive and bring out great ideas for staying on task. In addition, the group leader, C, will ask us to complete interesting homework assignments to help keep motivation high.
This week, C asked us to imagine our books on the bookshelf. She asked us to consider what we would like the brief reviews – the ones on the back of the jacket – to say about our book. The reviews could be from whomever we choose and should say exactly what we are hoping to achieve. This is a great exercise in behavior modification and is often used in therapy. For example, if you have a client who is working on smoking cessation, you get them to imagine what life will be like after they’ve achieved their goal. Picture it. What will it feel like when you’re able to run that 5K without coughing up black death? See yourself crossing the finish line with bright and shiny white teeth instead of yellow and plaid-tinted incisors and breath that could kill Freddy Krueger. Imagine your hair being simply sweaty instead of encrusted in smoke and cancer.
Stuff like that.

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Parenting Styles: Do Some Mess Kids Up?

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008

Dr. Rob,

With so many parenting books on the shelves, I wonder if there are certain parenting styles that are good or bad for kids. Are there specific styles and what types of parents tend to be the best?

TSB

Behind closed doors shrinks often bash parents for their kids’ problems. It’s very tempting to do because it gives a sense of clinical satisfaction. “Ah, so this is why he’s like that.” However, the reality is that most (not all, but most) parents are doing the best that they can with what tools they have. It’s easy to say that parents are the sole cause of what’s wrong with their kids but until you raise children you can’t appreciate how difficult it is. That’s why I don’t have them. I’m fairly certain I would screw it up more than almost every relationship I’ve ever had. I’m like Midas when it comes to relationships. Except in the bad way.

Without playing the blame game I do ask parents to make many changes in their parenting styles when I work with children. Sometimes they listen, sometimes not, and the therapeutic results are directly influenced based on what the parents can and will do.

When it comes to parental approaches I tend to think of Diana Baumrind’s research in the field of specific parenting style and development:

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