Keeping it in Perspective

I have a client, a woman in her early 30’s, who has what most people would consider a good life. She’s happily married, has a successful career and a child whom she adores. She doesn’t need to worry about money or her health or her family’s happiness. It’s all pretty much in place. Unfortunately she becomes extremely overwhelmed when anything more than simple demands are put on her plate horse spiele kostenlos downloaden. If she’s held up at work she can’t cope. When her kid gets a bad grade on a test she can’t handle it. And when she burns the family’s supper she’s an anxious mess. Because life is full of curveballs like these she’s unhappy more days than not.

Immediately before my appointment with her I see a middle-aged man who has only one leg tiptoi audiodateien kostenlos herunterladen. He has a lot of complex medical problems, most of which I don’t fully understand, and needs help managing his pain and emotions beyond what the physicians and physical therapists can do for him. He’s poor and doesn’t have a lot of friends. He wants to have children someday but he has difficulty meeting women who want to go out with him skype windows xp kostenlos. The reality is that a lot of people are put-off by his handicap. Like the female client he is unhappy more days than not, although he always reminds himself that “things could always be worse.” That short mantra somehow manages to curb the sharp depression he feels.

When the man opens the door of my office at the end of each session the woman is always in the waiting room. Each week she looks at him using his crutches to hobble out of the office and into the elevator neue itunes version herunterladen. Each week she looks down at her Prada bag, lets out a sigh of pity for the man, and gets up to come into my office. You can almost see the wheels spinning in her head as she comes in. She’s trying to put her problems into perspective. The man is this woman’s personal Unplanned Therapist herunterladen.

For a very long time the woman began almost every session by saying that she shouldn’t feel as bad as she does, that the man is so much worse off, that she needs to appreciate what she has. “I need to keep it in perspective,” she always said. I often told her that her pain is her own and that it shouldn’t be invalidated or brushed off simply because her life is objectively better than someone else’s imovie für windows herunterladen.

But her point is valid. I touched on this regarding financial distress but it is applicable to health and relationships and pretty much everything under the sun as well. If you can’t place your issues into some sort of context you’ll invariably be miserable because your problems will speak to you as if they are the most devastating things you will ever encounter fluidsim pneumatik download kostenlos deutsch. Striking that balance between validating your own individual distress along with a push to shift your perspective to a more objective one is a key to happiness. That is our responsibility, whether we are the woman, the man with one leg, someone in between or a person who is much better or much worse off.

For a long time the woman was unable to carry the lesson from the legless man until she saw him the following week die sims 4 haare download kostenlos. However, slowly she is starting to catch herself feeling overwhelmed. She remembers the man and says “Keep it in perspective. Keep it in perspective.” That is her mantra and it seems to be taking the sting out of the tough emotions. She’s got a ways to go but I suspect she’ll eventually get there.

Along these lines you might want to check out HotWheelz purchased albums from amazon. Here is a young man with hard core difficulties yet is striving to keep those problems in context through his writing. I think he’s doing a very good job of it. Do yourself a favor and give him a look, and if something he says helps you to see your own problems in a different light, shoot him an email and let him know dfbnet spielplan herunterladen.

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5 Responses to “Keeping it in Perspective”

  1. Colin says:

    Is it possible that something like this could potentially make a client feel worse? What i mean is that couldn’t it potentially cause her to add “…And I’m a whiner. I can’t even appreciate what I have. What’s wrong with me?” to the top of her other issues?
    Not saying it necessarily would or does for this particular client, but isn’t there the risk of this sort thing triggered a guilt reaction?
    Dr Rob note (via iPhone): definitely hence the importance of validating every client’s difficulties.

  2. Anonymous says:

    What about those people who abuse these mantra’s to avoid dealing with their problems?
    Thoughts Dr. Rob?
    Dr. Rob note: do you mean someone other than the woman? Could you give an example?

  3. Anonymous says:

    What I mean is, I feel like I encounter people that use slogans to escape confrontation. People who minimize or ignore things by using a motto on a problem for it never to be resolved “because at least we have our health” and “in the big picture, isn’t this a small problem?”
    I live with an extreme mantra dropper who never discusses anything. It just seems like they hide behind these sayings as form of not ever really having to deal with anything… of course “things could always be worse!”

  4. Anonymous says:

    Hotwheelz rocks. 😀 Rob. I can’t believe you got suckered into getting an iPhone. Haha, I’m kidding man. Kinda.

  5. Charlie Brown says:

    I don’t think the “perspective” thing would work for me. I already feel other people’s pain and I suspect it’s selfish to do that. Who am I to talk to myself about what they go through? Who am I to think I’m better off? People deal with things in different ways.
    And talking about “real difficulties” implies that others are “fake” or “illusory” when those who expereince them know they are not.
    I took a good look at HotWheelz: he’s something superhuman all right. Good for him. My heart swells.
    But it doesn’t change a thing about what I feel about me.
    And what if it did: my god! I’m already a mess. I don’t need to compare myself to more admirable people in order to feel like a loser. I do that well enough without any help.