TherapeuDICK

There has been some backlash as a result of my writing about Dr. Pete and our public encounter with his client.

Dr. Jane, upon taking my telephone call, typifies this outcry:

“What the fuck do you want?” she seethed. Dr. Jane loves using curse words, but such venom is generally reserved for her husband and children.

“I just wanted to say hi and tell you that I imagine you look quite pretty today.”

“Oh please, why don’t you and your stupid site just drop dead?”

“What’s the matter?”

“Pete called me today and told me how you threw him under the bus in front of his client. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“He’s upset?”

“What do you think, Rob?! He went on a bender over the weekend because of you. He’s a model to all of us, a beacon of hope to his clients, a…”

“Okay, okay. Should I call him and apologize?”

“No!” Jane hissed. “You’ve done enough damage already. In fact, Dr. Tim came up with new names for your stupid site. We’re going with either Robisadouchebag.com, TherapeuDICK, or…”

Fortunately, her cell phone cut out before she could inflict any more emotional harm. I called up Dr. John to find out if I am truly a pariah within the professional community.


“Jane said all that? That’s crazy talk, your site rules!”

“You weren’t upset that I wrote about Dr. Pete.”

“Are you kidding? The guy is a total fucking pussy, I can’t stand him. He’s got this whole ‘oooh, I’m shy, don’t look at me or else I’ll melt!’ thing going on. Fuck him, he deserved to get roasted. It was funny.”

“Wow, thank you for your support.”

“I just wish I had thought to rag on him first. Don’t worry, a lot of us are behind you, ignore those conservative tools.”

“I will. Thanks, I guess I’m lucky to have you as a friend.”

“Yeah right,” he laughed. “You’ll probably be blasting me on the web in a few weeks!”

Well, I have to hand it to him, he’s pretty perceptive…

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9 Responses to “TherapeuDICK”

  1. Jonny says:

    WHAT THE FUCK
    I knew therapists were nuts, but I never envisioned the specifics of it before. How the hell is someone’s mental health in the hands of a sociopath like Dr. Jane, or even someone as callous as Dr. Pete?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Seems like it’s true what they always say: People get degrees in psych to diagnose themselves.

  3. Ploin says:

    dang I could hardly tell those were doctors talking, sounds like a conversation me and my friends would have!

  4. j says:

    hehe. Most mental health providers are crazy pompous arseholes. You seem pretty cool keep up the good work – that story was hilarious 🙂

  5. Wayland says:

    That’s funny. That lady sounds like she needs a little therapy herself. She was lacking in the control department. The conversation with John was especially funny because it contrasted the conversation with Jane so much.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Don’t let Dr. Rob fool you with his creative writing, he is pompous too!

  7. lib says:

    pure joy…
    I’m a psy- student.
    I cannot wait!

  8. Sitnikov says:

    Nice job, very thanks

  9. Annie says:

    I don´t know why the make such a fuss if you do not use their real names… It could be anyone…